The Good Kind of Dorky


Wednesday, December 14, 2005

I'm Dating a joke!

I woke up Monday morning expecting it to be like every Monday morning. I stayed in bed longer than usual hoping that I really didn't have to get up. My boyfiend... did I say "fiend," I meant "friend." Anyway, he got out of bed before me to take a shower. I figured I'd let him finish his shower and then I'd get in. I decided I could brush my teeth while I waited. As I opened the bathroom door, darkness was awaiting. A beast behind the shower curtain moaning an animal-like moan as the light crept in. The freak of nature scolded me for allowing light into his lair. This weirded me out quite a bit and calling the monster a "freak" didn't appease the situation. So I left to let the dog out. As I do every day, I turned on the porch light so he could see. Little did I know (or did I?) that the light from the porch shines into the bathroom since we have not yet invested in a curtain (one thing at a time, is privacy a priority? I think not). Again I heard inhuman groaning, this time louder. The demon was yelling at ME! I continued to call it a freak of nature and a vampire, but this only angered it further. Had I figured it out? Was my boyfriend really a vampire??? Once he got out of the shower, he was back to his old self (I've read about these "transformations" in Dracula). He did question why I had turned on the lights, but the moans and groans subsided. For now.

About 15 minutes later it seemed as if the vampire in him had returned, when he said, "turn down the heat" in a very stern voice, but then I remembered he nags me about this every day. However, when he was about to leave the house and he approached me for a good bye kiss, instead of going for my mouth, he turned his head, stretched his neck toward me and seemed to be going for my jugular. I pulled away and turned just in time so that his mouth was against my cheeks. What I got was a kiss, but I could feel two pointy fangs brush my skin. And then, with a swoosh of his cape, he was off.

I will keep you all informed of any other sitings of the beast.


  • At 7:08 AM, Blogger Sarah said…

    What a wild life you is dangerous being you. And I agree...he is a vampire.


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