The Good Kind of Dorky


Sunday, January 29, 2006

A Worldwide Blog Exclusive

This is Stacia Lee. Stacia is a very interesting person. Where to begin? Stacia is almost 33 years old. 3x3=9, which is significant. Stacia's birthday is on March 9th, but that isn't necessarily why 9 is significant. Stacia's astrological sign is Pisces.
Imaginative and sensitive
Compassionate and kind
Selfless and unworldly
Intuitive and sympathetic

On the dark side....

Escapist and idealistic
Secretive and vague
Weak-willed and easily led

Yes, that sounds like Stacia Lee.

Stacia is not secretive and vague though. I don't think she is weak-willed either. Sometimes she does not realize how strong-willed/confident she is and while that may be a weakness, I would not characterize her as weak-willed. Stacia is a very very strong person and I admire her a great deal.

Stacia says: "I am a vegetarian."

Lindsey says: "Stacia is a bad vegetarian. Practically a carnivore."

Stacia does not eat meat, unless it is the chicken (pronounced SHicken--that's how her Cuban lover says "chicken." His name is Louise. It's actually very funny to say. Go ahead and try it. Shiiiiicken. Shicken little. Shick fil a!)
Anyway, when the shicken needs to be eaten, Stacia is the first one to jump at the opportunity. But other than this, Stacia is a hard-core vegetarian.

Fact # 89 about Stacia Lee: She can cook/bake!

Stacia's Spending Habits

Bottle of wine because cute guy recommended it $15
Valentine's Day presents for friends $5.24
5 lbs bag of olives from Nick's $25
Getting a free calendar from Nick himself
who she's had a crush on for years and would
totally do for free olives??
Well, the calendar was free
but "the moment"? Priceless

Fact # 3 about Stacia Lee: She likes to be good to the earth.
Not only does she recycle like a good girl, but when I worked with her she used to carry around a blue towel when she went into the bathroom. To this day the office is still wondering, what did she use the towel for? One anonymous suggestion... "Maybe she didn't like to use toilet paper because it's bad for the earth."

There is so much more to know about Stacia Lee. I couldn't possibly cover it all in one sitting. I welcome any questions you may have...

This has been your Stacia Lee Worldwide Exclusive


  • At 9:32 AM, Blogger Sarah said…

    This was so informative. A shocking expose really. I am curious to know how Stacia Lee feels about discount wine stores, Total Wine in particular. Do you have any insight?

  • At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Randy said…

    Sarah, I'm glad you enjoyed this piece and thank you for your thoughtful question. To put it bluntly, Stacia Lee is a wine snob. She thinks that only wine from local wineries is worth buying. When it comes to buying wine, Stacia's nose is so high in the air that she practically breaks her neck. As for Total Wine in particular, this to Stacia is like the Walmart O' Wine. She snubs anyone who has anything to do with the store, including her life friends (sarah and lindsey). See the thing about Stacia is that she talks her politics, she shares her views, even if at the expense of others, but what you need to know my faithful readers, is that while she may talk about sweatshop children, mass production and so called "chain stores," sometimes it is just that--talk. Stacia is the type of girl who will talk about cruelty to animals and point fingers with one hand while holding a shicken drumstick in the other. It was just last week when Stacia visited me that we took a trip to good 'ol Wally World. And although she talked the talk and lectured about sweatshops, she also left the store with a new camisole and matching panties that said something cheesy on the front--something along the lines of "Cutie," "Sexpot," or "Hitler-lover" or "Hot pants hypocrite." While this response may sounds harsh, let it be known that it is nothing compared to the emotional pain that Stacia has inflicted upon her friends. But alas, we still love her and hopefully after this expose, she will still love us. In conclusion, all I have left to say is, "you can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?"

  • At 7:01 PM, Anonymous sweet stacia said…

    its about awareness friends. it gets really hard to stick to your principles when you hate all of modern american society.

    except for olives, and cute wine clerks.

    show me a wine clerk in total wine that was anywhere near as cute as the guy at river city.

    it is really exhausting to have to continue to judge everyone all the time.

    sometimes, a girl needs a break.

    and, like good little reporters, lets share the whole story, shall we randy? why was i in walmart? because lindsey forced me to go. actually, lindsey and her pimp, ahem, boyfriend, forced me to go, threatening to sell my body to fund their new "business" if i didn't. what choice did i have? and if i was going to sell my body, i was going to let the slimeballs know that i was "sweet." it said "sweet" lindsey. SWEET.

    remember that girls. SWEET.

  • At 8:00 PM, Anonymous Randy Pants said…

    This is true. I did MAKE her go. She is not lying. I made her go so I could buy an inflatable bed so she would have somewhere to sleep!!!! I went to Wal-Mart for Stacia. I am the martyr! I did try to pimp her out, but come on, it was an investment into her future, folks!!!

    And I will admit. One great thing about Stacia Lee is that she does make you aware of things...

  • At 8:08 PM, Anonymous Randy said…

    Wait, I was too nice. I don't think Stacia really hates all of modern American Society. I mean, given, there are a lot of things to hate about America--some of which are especially prevalent in the South--but she can't hate ALL of it.
    Here are a few reasons why...

    1. Stacia likes to shop. She likes to buy trendy outfits and shirts that sometimes show her boobies.

    2. Stacia likes the fact that pink is the new black.

    3. Stacia wants a small trendy dog that she can carry in her purse just like Paris Hilton.

    4. Sometimes Stacia shops at Starbucks.

    5. Stacia has a Vera Bradley make-up bag that her mom (she begged for it like a pink bootie wearing, purse dwelling poodle) gave her.

  • At 12:39 PM, Blogger Isabel said…

    Wow...either Nick is super hot or those olives are awesome.

    And really...what was she doing with the blue towel?? I must know.

  • At 6:42 PM, Anonymous Randy said…

    The blue towel remains a mystery. Maybe Stacia can answer that one!


Post a Comment

<< Home