The Good Kind of Dorky


Friday, July 14, 2006

I talk to sex offenders

Who ever said rednecks aren't knowledgeable? Tonight Edgar and I were outside talking to our neighbors who live next door and the ones who live kind of across the street from us. We were all outside looking down the street at the four cop cars. I asked Tommy what was going on. He is my next door neighbor who is a total redneck but really sweet--he even mowed our front lawn for us last week just to be nice--and because we are probably the ones making the neighborhood look bad with our jungle-esque overgrown yard. When Edgar told me that he had mowed our lawn I immediately, almost intinctively, said "Bless him. Oh, bless his heart." It was scary, as if I am from here or something... Anyway, I made chocolate chip cookies to say thank you, but I digress. Anyway, Tommy's nephew was in the fist fight (it was a $200 bet to see who could beat up who, childsplay really) out in the street with some other kid and a lady called the cops on them. Apparently a black man who was walking by tried to stop the fight. When the cops got there they immediately went after the black guy, the innocent bystander...go figure, right? God bless America! Well, I guess the nephew didn't get in trouble or left before the cops were there, but they were still down the street talking to the other kid I think. I can't believe I missed the entertainment right outside my window!! Well my sort of across the street neighbor, Chris, (the one who's dog got hit right in front of me, but was luckily fine and then a few weeks later his other dog died from getting into his razor blades and eating them) came outside to hang out with us. Chris, from Poughkeepsie(sp?) NY, but total redneck as well, is really nice too. So we all talked for a little and then I decided to take Bugs on a walk, as I was on my way to do before I saw all the commotion. Well, I went on my walk and it turned dark while I was out there. I came back to worried Edgar at the door looking for me. I was fine. I wasn't scared. So I came in and Edgar, who had stayed talking to the guys for a few minutes after I left for my walk, told me that Chris told him that the guy next door, who is also across the street from me, is a sex offender...he had recieved a letter at some point when Chuck "the sex offender" moved in. Chuck moved into the house where the smelly redneck with missing teeth used to live, the one we bought our TV from after he got evicted. Sometimes I say hi to Chuck...he actually seemed like a pretty nice guy, pleasant. We looked up Chuck on the sex offender listing of the Virginia Police Dept. Fortunately (as fortunate as you can be when you are dealing with sex offenders ), he was convicted in like 1991 for carnal knowledge of a 13-15 year old. He is 49 right now, you do the math. It's gross, yes, but at least he hasn't been convicted since. Looking at that site is scary, because most of the offenders in my zip code live right around me. There is even a violent sex offender who lives right by where I go walking, by myself. Awesome. Down the road right near me there is a guy convicted of violent sexual assault, or something like that. It makes me feel naseous. I guess there're nasty people everywhere, but why are there like 34 in my zip code and a decent handful or two right near me?? I guess if I see them I will just stay away, or like the guy across the street, I'll just say hi.


  • At 6:28 PM, Anonymous Motherload said…

    Lovely. Frickin' lovely.

  • At 10:51 AM, Blogger Sarah said…

    Sorry friend, that's just creepy. No wonder the family with kids moved away. Maybe this will force Edgar to take walks with you. It will be the year of health after all.


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