The Good Kind of Dorky


Thursday, December 21, 2006

A Two or Three Part Special

Occasionally, I used to stuff old pictures and letters in my dresser drawer. When I moved to Virginia just over two years ago, I brought my dresser with me, letters, pictures and all. Well I've since bought a new dresser as part of our bedroom set, but I still have my old dresser. Well, I was looking through it tonight and found a letter that I received in the 10th grade. Let me give you some background. When I began at private school in the 8th grade they had an orientation for new students. One of the new students was a boy named Claude. Claude loved me. Love at first sight. I did not love Claude. I am channeling Frema when I say that my teenage self is very creeped out at the thought of him. Claude was not cool, but he meant well and he was a sweet kid. Sort of. Even today I cringe just a little as I revert back to my 16 year old self. In the 10th grade we did Secret Santas within our entire grade, which was about 60 people because like I said, it was a private school. Of all the people who could have drawn my name, Claude drew mine. The first day I got something normal like candy. The second day I got an angel with a cheesy note about how I am an angel. The third day (at this point my friends had clued me into the fact that Claude in fact was my secret admirer) I received a tin box with an angel on it. I opened it up and there was a note that said, underneath the candy there is a face as radiant as your own. Underneath the candy was a mirror. I still have this box at home in New York. On the final day he was going to ask me out as the final gift. I'm glad it didn't get that far because omigod, I don't know what I would have done. Some of my friends let Claude know that I was not interested. Claude, upon coming to the realization that I was just not that into him, wrote me a two page letter--front and back. On three hole punch lined school paper. Classic.

Reading this letter today, part of me thinks, "Bless his lil' heart." What a sweet boy and I broke his heart. But he also kind of makes me sound like a bitch in this letter. Let me inform you that I was not a bitch in high school. I did not like the petty, bitchy girls. Since it was a small school it wasn't too cliquey, but there was still pettiness. That said, i'm sure I was petty at times, but weren't we all? In high school I was popular not because I was in the "popular group," but because I was friends with everyone--dorks, geeks, punks, preps--everyone. I was nice to people because I think everyone deserves respect and kindness. At some point though, if you are not interested in dating a Claude, you must say no. Or at least have your friends tell him no. Friends don't let friends date Claudes.

In this Two or Three Part Special (beacuase I am tired and can't type it all in one night and also because I don't know how many nights it will take) I am going to share with you this quintessential high school letter--wrought with emotion, anger, lust, love, but most of all passion. Maybe you can relate. [I will bracket my 25 year old self's comments]

Dear Lindsey,

I just wanted to let you know that I am officially giving up. [Okay, so why the two page letter? Just stop now.] I will try not to flirt with you or do anything else like that anymore. You have made it clear that you're not interested in me, and I have been insulted enough by other people because of what I've done to try to get you to like me. But, there is one last thing , and this is for me more than anything else, just something I need to say. I just needed to tell you flat out some things that you may or may not want to know, but if I tried to tell you in person I know it wouldn't come out right, so please read this whole letter. I expect that you will share this letter with your many friends, and I assume that I will be badly teased if you do, but I hope that you're as wonderful as I always thought you were and you don't spread this around school, not because I would be ashamed of anything I will say, but because certain people aren't mature enough to handle how they feel, and they won't know how to act. [FYI, I don't think I spread it around...see, I am a good person, well up until now when I am sharing it with all of you.]

First of all, this will sounds stupid, but here goes; I don't know if you believe in love at first sight, or even an attraction, but I do, and I am a hopeless romantic. I have liked you since I first saw you at the orientation meeting in the summer of 1995 for new students at MPH. You have the perfect, most beautiful name I have ever heard, and in fact, my last girlfriend from Central Square [town in Upstate NY] was named Lindsay (with an A). I have always been attracted to girls with that name. [You had me at Lindsey] You always look so great, no matter what you are wearing, and you have eyes that I could get lost in if I didn't control myself whenever I'm around you. [Are you laughing? Crying? Throwing up just a little bit in your mouth?] The only part of anything that happened that I was upset by was that not many people that I knew were really attracted to you at first, but whenever I answered someone's question of, "Who do you like at MPH?", I always said "Lindsey R__." At first, someone, who I won't name, said that they thought you had a nice personality, but didn't look pretty (I of course disagreed), and he wouldn't think of going out with you, and now he says that you're beautiful, while all along I thought you were the number one first pick at MPH.

[The suspense is building. What else does Claude have to say?]

I am watching football right now and they said "His hands are just absolutely huge." Teeheehee That was my 16 year old self talking or I am just not very mature. You decide.

[Stay tuned until next time as the saga continues...]


  • At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Motherload said…

    I feel certain that Claude would be absolutely thrilled to know that you're sharing his most personal letter with the entire blogging community. Good one! I remember you used to tell me how he would stare at you in looking up and down your legs. LOL... ew. You loved to tease those young boys.

  • At 5:45 AM, Blogger Lindsey said…

    I know, I feel sort of bad about it, but it was like 10 years ago.

  • At 6:43 AM, Blogger Sarah said…

    Oh Randy, you are such a saucy tease. Poor Claude. Wonder whatever happened to him. Did you google his name?

    I think we all had a Claude. Mine was named Brad.

  • At 7:02 AM, Blogger Lindsey said…

    Ironically, just last week he found me on So far we have written a couple of short messages back and forth. He went to the Air Force Academy and was really into it. I think he must just be doing Air Force stuff today, but I am really not sure.

  • At 8:54 AM, Blogger Lauren said…

    Oh poor Claude, you ruined his high school existance!
    ...I never had a Claude, I think I was a Claudette...sad day :(

  • At 9:04 AM, Anonymous Jenny said…

    I had a Claude. I still feel creeped out just thinking about him. Desperation is an ugly cologne.

    And what's with the "He said you weren't pretty but I think you're beautiful". That's some passive agressive manipulation right there, Claude.

  • At 1:05 PM, Blogger Carrie said…

    Lindsey, you bad little girl you! And I had no idea that you were so young so for now on out I can't blog with you. LOL

    I think this is really sweet. Especially coming from a high school boy. When I was in high school, no boys would have wrote anything like that. Just think, he may have never got over you.

    I have a similiar experience with a guy from high school. Actually he came back in my life while Adam and I were broke up. We feel in love and he is disappeared. Sometimes I think he was getting back at me for when we were kids but deep down I know that he isn't well. (I was going to link it but for some reason, I can't get in my archive.)

  • At 1:20 PM, Blogger Cece said…

    Awww, how cute. I think we all had a Claude in high school. Can't wait to read the rest!

  • At 12:27 PM, Blogger Sarah said…

    I think I mighta had been a Claudette as well...

    But you know what I was just thinking of? My step brother went to school in good ole Caz until 5th grade, not a private school though. I thought it woulda had been cool if it turned out you knew him back then! I think he would have been a grade ahead of you though.

  • At 3:16 AM, Anonymous Aimee said…

    Heeee poor Claude (but so not really!) Can't wait to hear more!
    I was like you in high school - popular because I was friends with everyone, but not really part of the "clique" and adorable to boot! I had a Claude. His name was Mike and he turned out to be pretty damn HOT! lol

    Thanks for the cute card too! Merry Christmas!

  • At 7:32 PM, Blogger Frema said…

    Oh, Claude! I like how he talks about how much he loves you and how others didn't notice your wonderfulness until much later. "Nobody will ever appreciate you the way that I do!" stuff. I can't wait to read the next part!

    My Claude happened in seventh grade, and his name was Billy, and he quoted Elvis Presley love songs. I had that letter until about four years ago, when I decided to tack it to my office corkboard. I've never seen it since. Sob.

  • At 12:07 AM, Blogger Sassy Momma said…

    Oh yes, there's a Claude in every high school! Can't wait to scroll up and read the rest!


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