Happy New Year! Happy New You! I didn't used to be a big fan of New Year's resolutions. I either didn't keep them or forgot what they were. Last year I decided to write down some resolutions for 2006. Yesterday I was looking back at them again and I was happy that I actually accomplished most of them. I read a book or two, took pilates classes, wrote some poetry, loved more and tried to let go of things, i.e. not be anal about everything
. I'm anal retentive by nature and always will be, but I tried to put certain situations into perspective. The only thing I didn't do was knit. But that's okay. I blogged as a hobby instead. I like making New Year's resolutions as long as I promise not to use them as something to feel guilty about if I don't end up accomplishing the goals. I use the list as a way to have goals and work toward them to better myself. This year my resolutions are as follows:
1. Lift weights and not just do cardio
2. Learn to cook more things than I currently know how to cook
3. Go to church more than once or twice/work on my relationship with God (in progress)
4. Continue to focus on my career
Sure, there are others, but I am going to keep my resolutions in this neat little compact list. What are your resolutions?
Before I get to Part 2 of Letter from Claude, I want to thank all of you, my "blog friends." I never knew I could care about so many lovely people who I have never even met. Thank you guys for stopping by, hanging out and especially, for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I look forward to the adventures we will share in 2007.
Ok, here it is. Part 2
...I really did mean everything I wrote in those Secret Santa letters, but you obviously weren't happy that I thought that way. I wasn't trying to flirt with you; I wanted to let you know that I really did like you a lot. You are the most beautiful, kindest, friendliest, best listening, funniest girl I know, and you are as perfect as possible. [Oh, go on...] Even though this probably doesn't mean much coming from me, I hope you believe it because it's all true.
I admit that I was of course somewhat jealous when you were going out with Gael [French kid, my first kiss], but of course I didn't say anything about it because he's my friend, so I respected that. Then after the incident at Chewonki, (which I still don't know if you know about, but I still don't understand what happened there), [Chewonki was where we went on our class trip, but I have no idea what he is talking about] I didn't want to upset you again, so I still didn't mention anything about liking you. (about Chewonki: I wasn't even trying to flirt with Megan, and she is still freaked out when I was just trying to be friendly to her.) My whole freshman year, I just couldn't reason in my head why you would possibly want to go out with me (I should have stuck with that idea). [yeah, probably]
This year, especially after being accepted to go to Brazil for my junior year, I've realized how I'm running out of time to ask you out. I was going to ask you to go to the holiday dance with me, and then that was cancelled. I found out from another girl before Christmas that you "just wanted to be friends," which was like a shot in the heart, but I foolishly thought that you might change your mind if I showed you how much I liked you. [oh silly boy] When I got you as the person for Secret Santa, I thought it was a sign and the perfect opportunity to let you know for sure how I felt, but after your response to, "Did you like your gifts?" after the Secret Santa, I knew that I could never have the privilege of ever meaning any more to you than a fellow student, if that. I just hope CJ and Howard appreciate their friendship with you. [I am still close with Howard, so there] For whatever reason that I still don't know, you seem to not like me, but I will always care for you. I'm sorry if you don't like that, or are at all upset by that, but that is the way I feel.
All my life I've tried to do and be exactly the way everyone said I should be, not because I wanted to be a brown-noser, but because I thought that if everyone said that's how people should be, then it must be right. I've always tried to be generous, kind, understanding, strong, athletic, smart, friendly, open-minded, helpful and humble, and it's gotten me basically no where. I've just been an easy target for girls who couldn't act maturely. One of my friends, a pretty girl who's been one of my good friends for years, recently talked it over with me, and we came up with one reason why this happens.
Are you still here? You really read this far? That is true friendship! Find out "why this happens" in the grand finale, Part 3 of Letter from Claude.
Happy New Year! I'm going grocery shopping now. Exciting.