The Good Kind of Dorky


Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Diet Anyone?

Disclaimer: Do not read this if commentary about black men and white women is going to offend you.

I was at the gym last night and saw this guy who I occasionally talk to. He said hi and we got to talking. I found out that his name is Drell or Tony. I love a man who gives me options. Did I mention he has a gold tooth? And a small chunk of his hair is blonde or gray or maybe missing? It wasn't apparent last night, but I swear in the past he had a patchy head. You won't believe me now, but this dude is actually pretty good looking regardless of the "abnormalities." He is buff too. And works contruction, so extra buff, but not scary buff. He is also black. And buff. And not scary.

According to Edgar, men who talk to women at the gym are up to no good. I am naive. I like to think the best of people before I think the worst. On many occasions people have told me their entire life story after meeting me, like, twice, i.e. the sex offender who lives across the street from me, the redneck dude who lived below us when we lived in the apartment, etc. Being open, friendly and giving people the benefit of the doubt is a blessing and a curse. This also makes me the perfect prey candidate for gym stalkers friends, who coincidentally all happen to be male. My "friend" Farron just got divorced after 14 years or a really long time, I can't remember. John, who I think is unhappy in his marriage and is probably in his early 40s, gave me his number last week. See the thing is I actually still believe these guys are nice. Naivete is hard to come by, but I digress.

Back to my story. Drell or Tony and I were talking about working out because, well, we were in a gym and that's what you do when you talk to people in the gym. I said I wanted to see a personal trainer and tone up because I am seriously weak. He said that I look good and "fit" and that I shouldn't lose weight because "I don't like scrawny girls."

Newsflash, when a black man tells a white woman that she looks good and shouldn't lose weight because then she will be scrawny (which in my book is synonymous with skinny), that white girl probably has some excess junk in the trunk. It is not a compliment and said white girl will probably obsess over it and binge on cake the next night, skip the gym altogether and watch American Idol instead. But tomorrow is another day.

So, what diet do you guys suggest?


  • At 12:16 AM, Blogger alana said…

    1. Your blog is pretty.

    2. I would probably have named my blog 'The Good Kind of Dorky' if I had your blog naming talent (note: I don't have any blog naming talent)

    3. Meh. Random gym weirdos aside, all girls need some indulgent gym-skipping, cake-binging, American Idol-watching time to obsess about what they consider to be their jiggly bums. My best friend's attitude towards the gym and subsequent post-gym eating is 'burn a little hole, fill it back up'. Words to live by in my opinion!

  • At 10:18 AM, Anonymous Aimee said…

    Since you're giving us options, can I call him Tito? I think Tito is a good name.

    I'm afraid I'm in agreement with Edgar (really, who'd have thought?) Gym "friends" are creepy. hee. There's a guy at my gym who will like lift some GINORMOUSLY HEAVY weight like 3 times and then walk around the entire gym making comments at (almost) all the women. Then he'll lather, rinse, repeat. And I'm like, Dude, you don't get buff lifting tons of weight 7 times over the course of an hour. But again with the digressing.

    As a white girl who isn't "scrawny" I'd have to agree with you - I've been on the receiving end of bootilicious comments. Back in high school a guy (also black, but not Tito, I'm assuming) said, "Hey booty!" And tried to hit on me (with, How are you? Fine. You LOOK fine. ::wretch::) I made the mistake of telling the guys in my youth group at church and viola, this is how nicknames are born people. I've learned to keep my mouth shut. Okay, not really.

    HI! I'm writing a novel! You know me, I'm hearting Weight Watchers. But it doesn't sound like you need to lose weight - especially if you feel like you just need to tone up. I'd say being at the gym and focusing on the task at hand and not your "friends" is your first step. LOL

  • At 10:27 AM, Blogger L Sass said…

    Oh my... I must write one of these days about the amazing Brazilian gym "Friend" that I once had. He liked to sport teeny tiny shorts and prescription sport googles like one might wear while playing squash. And he was 5'2". Heh.

    Thanks for adding me to your blogroll! Mine is in desperate need of updating--I'll have to do it this weekend!

  • At 11:14 AM, Anonymous Aimee said…

    I just thought of something...did he give you the option of Drell or Tony? or did you just not hear him correctly. LOL (you know, because they sound so much alike!)

    Was he like, "My name is Drell, but you can call me Tony." Like Tony is the name he reserves for white girls? lol

  • At 11:57 AM, Anonymous Erika said…

    ROFL..."I love a man who gives me options"???

  • At 1:39 PM, Blogger Cece said…

    Oh, Sweetie, you are too cute. Seriously you're not from 'round here, are ya? LOL I've had a memebership w/24 hour fitness for awhile & I don't talk to anyone there! Well, except if my mom & I happen to get treadmills next to each other. But maybe b/c I'm just not that friendly of a person when it comes to strangers. Been living in L.A. too long I guess.

    OH & Aimee freaked me out riht now! When I saw the name Tito on your blog. Dude, that is Mister's (my husband) name. LOL I was like Whatha? *lol*

  • At 4:45 PM, Anonymous Motherload said…

    I suggest the Stay Away From Gym Rats diet. There's nothing wrong with your booty. You are perfect just the way you are! Why would you care what some guy with a gold tooth thinks about your junk? How sketchy is that??? Eww. Mike, Nam, Golds. 'Nuff said?

    Hmm... my word verification starts with pms. :-)

  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger Carrie said…

    I think you misunderstood him. I think he was saying "scrawny" in general. I don't think he was talking to you. Your mom is right, you don't need to lose weight.

    When I go to a gym, it is like going to the bathroom. I'm there for one reason and it isn't to socialize.

  • At 7:39 PM, Blogger J in Ric said…

    ok, totally unrelated to your post, the blogging worlds collided with real life today...

    I met Edgar today, when he paid a visit to my company. I thought I recognized him, and finally after the meeting asked him... it was pretty funny, but I'll let him finish telling you about it.

  • At 8:40 PM, Blogger Lindsey said…

    1. I just screamed because j in ric met Edgar today! On Edgar's first official day with his new company.
    2. Aimee, you kill me. I was laughing out loud and yes, he really did give me the option of Drell or Tony. It was so weird. But Tito apparently would have been better! Cece thinks so too! Gotta love the Titos!
    3. I totally agree with those of you who have said that gym friends are not a good idea. I completely agree. I just wish the men that talked to me felt that way.

  • At 9:40 PM, Anonymous swampwitch said…

    Drell or Tony ? They don't rhyme or even start with the same letter. Did he just give you the option? "Hi, my name is Drell, but you can call me Tony, or you can call me..."
    Oh, by the way, this is my first visit here...from Jenny's.
    I am on a new diet. It's the "Eat Whatever I Can Get My Hands on Diet." It seems to be working.
    Here are a few tips though:
    1) Eat off someone else's plate. Their calories don't count.
    2) Break the chocolate cookies in half...the calories and fat grams escape.
    3) Do not slice off an entire piece of cake and put it on your plate. Slice little slivers off the cake and eat them. Slivers don't compute calories.

    I hope this helps.

    P.S. I don't usually talk to guys at the gym because I usually am out of breath.

  • At 2:19 PM, Anonymous Aimee said…

    As an addition to swampwitch's sentiments - anything on a stick is good too. THe calories fall out of the hole. :)

  • At 1:22 AM, Anonymous alyndabear said…

    Psssssh. You don't need to lose a thing, dork. ;)

  • At 8:12 PM, Blogger The "Mind" said…

    Ahh, naiveté, maybe that is why everyone talks to me. I swear everywhere we go someone singles me out to talk to. We didn't even have our luggage out of our car the first time we went to Vegas and some couple started talking to me. Admittedly they were older and I'm beginning to think that where I work (a senior citizen apartment complex) leaves "old people funk" on me that they gravitate to. LOL! But still.


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