The Good Kind of Dorky


Saturday, January 13, 2007


A few days ago Cece tagged me and asked that I tell you 5 things that you didn't know about me. Around this same time I also learned the origins of meme from Bones. I understood the concept, but never really questioned where it came from. I'm glad there are people more dedicated than I am to looking things up when they don't know and it is nice that they are willing to share this knowledge with others. When I was a kid and I didn't know what a word meant my dad would tell me to go look it up in the dictionary. After a while I was like, screw it, I don't care that much. Yes, I was content not knowing. Sad? Yes. But apparently things haven't changed. So here are five things that you may not know about

1. I have never, ever in my life smoked pot. I've smoked a cigarette probably 5 times top and I occasionally (maybe twice a year) smoke cigars, but never, ever pot. It's not because I have something against pot. I just never cared about it. I am, however, very much against smoking cigarettes. I wouldn't date someone who smoked unless they were Johnny Depp. Not even if the dude looked like Johnny. They would actually have to be Johnny. Do you know how a lot of memories are tied to smell? Well when I think of my late grandmother, I picture the living/dining room of her town house. She always sat in the same seat and she was always smoking. The wall behind her had turned yellow from all of the smoking. She had these brown place mats on the table that somehow I have tied this visual memory to the smell and it makes me nauseous to think about it. My stomach is turning a little bit right now thinking about it. Well, if the wall turned yellow, think about what her lungs must have looked like. She died in her mid 60s of emphysema. She talked out of one of those voice boxes. I think she would have had one last cigarette if they would have let her. This is all to say, don't smoke.

2. On a happier note, I was Prom Queen my junior year of high-school, but trust me I am not that girl.

3. I lost my virginity to the Prom King a few months before prom. I was 17. We ended up dating for 3 1/2 years. We had been dating for four months before I had "vaginal intercourse" with him. I don't like the word vaginal, but I am using it because I think the way our society defines "sex" is very limiting. Does this mean lesbians who make love are still virgins? I think not.

4. I can count the number of people I have "slept with" on one hand. I only regret one of them. I hate the word regret, too. Regret isn't even exactly how I feel about that person. It is more like, well, Lindsey, that was pretty stupid of you. You better learn from this you skanky slut. Even though I sometimes use the word slut, I actually do not believe in that word. I do not believe that sluts exist. There is this great feminist book entitled SLUT! that is worth the read. Yes, I consider myself a feminist. I don't always act like one. My life is made up of many contradictions. I'm working on that.

5. Apparently sex and cigarettes are on my mind today. Okay, let me tell you something unrelated to these two things that you might not know...If I could have a super power I would want to read minds.

That way I would know if you wanted to have sex with me or smoke a cigarette. After sex of course, because I am just. that. good. :-P


  • At 11:58 AM, Blogger local traveler said…

    Elitists are far too superior to be spending their time looking up words in the dictionary. Unless of course you are an intellectual elitist.

    Contradictions are what makes life interesting and there's virtually no way around them, libra-I-want-everything-to-be-even-and-just-girl. Own the contradictions!

    And I just bet you are! I think I need a cigarette.

  • At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Aimee said…

    Hi Five on the no pot, sister! There aren't many of us! My grandma is a big smoker too (not of pot, lol) and I hate going to her house because I have to fabreeze myself when I leave. ::ick::

  • At 12:51 PM, Anonymous Motherload said…

    Did Stacia just try to insult you?

    Slight correction on 'Goggy'... she didn't talk from a voice box thingy. What you saw was the ventilator tube that was attached to her trachea. It sounded odd because she had to work really hard to speak and mostly we had to lip read.

    Now. What's this about you sleeping with the Prom King months BEFORE prom? Aren't you supposed to wait to give it up ON prom night??? Slut. :-D

  • At 12:59 PM, Blogger Lindsey said…

    Ok, so maybe some of my memories are a little "off," but the woman did die from smoking and sounded funny when she talked.

  • At 4:25 PM, Anonymous Motherload said…

    Well, a certain someone seems to be a tad testy today.

  • At 5:38 PM, Blogger Lindsey said…

    What? No, I wasn't being testy at tone was supposed to be silly not pissed. That's the one thing about the internet. It's hard to project tone sometimes. :-)

    I love you, Mommy. I wasn't being mean at all.

  • At 7:49 PM, Blogger local traveler said…

    Me too! Silly, amusing, even irreverent maybe. But not at all insulting.

  • At 9:53 PM, Blogger Carrie said…

    Well aren't you just the girl little girl. Are you here to make us all feel bad for our slutty and drug asses? hehe. I love that you are so sweet and a good girl. I can tell that you aren't one of "those girls".

    Is that your mom?

  • At 9:25 AM, Blogger Lindsey said…

    Carrie-- In the words of Britney Spears, "I'm not that innocent."

    Whatchyou sayin' 'bout my momma??!! Just kidding, yes, that is my mom. :-)

  • At 12:13 PM, Blogger Cece said…

    *clapping* You've made boring meme's ROCK, Sistah!

    I don't like pot. I've tried it a few times & its just not my bag. No pun intended. I don't like the feeling of not being in control. And I usually passed out before I get to enjoy the "munchie" stage everyone speaks so highly about! LOL

  • At 4:31 PM, Anonymous Jenny said…

    Oh Lisey, you skanky slut.

    You crack me up.

  • At 11:12 AM, Blogger L Sass said…

    I completely agree about pot. I tried it a few times in college because, like, everyone else seemed to love it, but I have always felt, "What's the big deal?" Zero desire to use it.

  • At 10:00 AM, Blogger Bones said…

    That's so ironic. I almost my virginity to Johnny Depp after we were smoking a big fatty and he was wearing a prom dress. Of course, when I found out he had no vagina, I bailed.

  • At 9:34 AM, Blogger Carrie said…

    Wow, another mom that comments. Does your mom leave snotty remarks on yours?

    Drugs are bad and I am glad that you never got sucked into pot. I don't know how long you have read my blog but I am anti-drugs. Now don't get me wrong. When I was in high school I did pot several times but didn't realize that it could get you in a lot of trouble.

    Good girls rawk!

  • At 8:43 PM, Blogger Frema said…

    I tried pot a couple of times because I was dating a guy who inhaled them like air. I never took more than one "drag" (is that the right word?) and I never got high. I despise cigarettes for the same reasons you do--a grandmother who died at the age of 63 with yellow curtains that were supposed to be white--and plan on writing a post about it sometime soon.

    However, I do believe in regrets. Not necessarily for things like who you've slept with, but I believe it is possible to hurt someone and wish you hadn't done it.

  • At 9:04 PM, Anonymous Motherload said…

    Carrie... define snotty. :-)


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