The Good Kind of Dorky

 

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Part 3: The Grand Finale

Now, what you have all been waiting for. The dramatic conclusion of the letter I received from Claude, the boy who for years was in love with me.

And why was Claude a target for people who couldn't act maturely? What did the "pretty girl" have to say to poor, dear Claude? Let's find out.
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This was because for some strange reason, girls say that they want the nice guy who is understanding, sensitive and all all those other traits, but then they pick the guy who doesn't treat them nearly as well because they reason that if this guy can afford to treat you bad, then he must be special. [Edgar agrees with this, so he says] Unfortunately for me, I decided long ago that I couldn't and wouldn't be any way other than nice to girls. They go through enough, and I am not going to do anything to hurt them no matter what it does to me. This has obviously ruined my chances with you and probably every other girl at MPH [my high school], since it appears that you all prefer guys who don't care that much and hang on every girl they know, guys like Walt, Howard and CJ. [and the green eyed monster rears its ugly head] I will take this in stride and live on of course, but you must know how much I like you. [cue Titanic music]
I will try to not show how much I do like you anymore since I heard from someone close to you that you were in fact disgusted with me. [some friend] Someone told me that you were very upset to even hear that I liked you, and I am truly sorry I have offended you at all. In my mind, you'll always be perfect, even though I've heard that you only act nice to me because you pity me. I apologize now for any time in the past or future that you look around the room and find me looking at you, [seriously, it was creepy] because I don't think I'll be able to always avoid getting spellbound by your radiance when I happen to catch a glimpse of your beauty. I would do absolutely anything that you ever asked of me, and since I've gotten the message that what you want is for me to leave you alone, I am going to do so. I'm very sorry. If you think anything in this letter is innacurate, even though I doubt that it is, please do not hesitate to tell me.

Yours truly and always,
Claude

P.S. I hurt my thumb on my right hand in LaCrosse, so my hand-writing's pretty sloppy, sorry.
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So there it is, the letter in its entirety. So what do you think? I agree with Erika that it is very passive aggressive in parts. It's pushy and actually kind of mean, even though he does try to say how much I mean to him. And seriously, the way he used to stare at me in class was borderline sexual harassment. My adult self feels a little guilty for putting this out there for all to see. I wonder if I ever wrote him something in return. I'm sure if I did it was kind, but straight-forward. I hope I would have done that anyway. I think Claude is genuinely a good person and has a big heart. I never really befriended him, but we were polite. I even went to his graduation party when not a lot of people did. I didn't go out of pity. I went because part of me actually cared about him and I knew that it would mean something to him. A few weeks ago I was thinking about him and wondering what he was up to and two days later he found me on facebook.com. We've written short messages back and forth, but that's about it. My teenage self and my adult self would never want to hurt someone, but they are finding themselves very conflicted on how they feel about Claude. Whether you were a Claude or had a Claude, this is what being a teenager was all about. Sadly, some of us never grow out of this kind of behavior, but luckily most of us do. One thing is certain though, and that is that people like Claude are the ones you think about 5, 10, 20 years later. People like Claude are the ones you will never forget.

12 Comments:

  • At 9:54 PM, Blogger Cece said…

    *clapping* Wow, what a letter. I tell you I SO do not miss HS days, that's for sure!

     
  • At 12:15 AM, Blogger Sassy Momma said…

    They are definitely the ones you remember years down the road. I have a few of my own I'd like to know what they're up to now. Not that I want to get in contact with them but to make sure they made it through those horrible teenage years.

     
  • At 8:51 AM, Blogger Erika said…

    I was going to say "I wonder where Claude is now?" but I guess you know. I hope he's happy and can maybe even laugh about it. I've seen a few Claudes on myspace and in general they all have girlfriends or wives.

     
  • At 10:13 AM, Anonymous Aimee said…

    Thanks for FINALLY (ha!) sharing the rest of that letter. Poor dumb Claude. Really, I have nothing more to say (you sooo know that's not true). It's kind of nice to catch up later - I became friends with what I might call "my claude" and he said that the first day of school he had a pocket (in his backpack) full of pencils, but he wanted to talk to me so he asked to borrow one. It was kind of sad, yet cute. lol

    Claude was trying to tell you off, but in a way that maybe left the door open in case you were touched by his sincerity and "realness" and decided you LOVED him. LOL

    You're such a heartbreaker!

     
  • At 12:06 PM, Blogger Carrie said…

    I know how you feel. I actually have reconnected with all of the people that I think about. Good thing about single for 2 years. I got to catch up and even reconnected with a few. I hope Claude is doing well and I hope that you can finally forgive yourself for breaking his heart.

     
  • At 7:58 PM, Anonymous alyndabear said…

    Hrm. The staring would have made me uncomfortable, not that I've had that happen to me before.. but I can imagine.

    I suppose it's one high school memory that you won't forget, pretty girl. ;)

     
  • At 2:32 AM, Anonymous alyndabear said…

    P.S. EEEEE look at the pretty pink blog design!

     
  • At 8:48 AM, Anonymous Jenny said…

    Linds, you are such a good person. Seriously. Reflective, kind and empathetic. If someone wrote me a note like that I'd be freaked out and would avoid them forever...but not you.

    Good karma for you.

     
  • At 9:54 AM, Blogger Bones said…

    Wow... that letter was emolicious. Claude must have had a lot of sisters. He clearly never learned that 1) there is nothing less attractive than an emotionally needy guy; 2) jaguars prefer to chase and kill a live wildebeest than eat a dead one just laying there; 3) boys go to the bathroom alone, not in groups, and we stand when we pee; 4) swingers > fried green tomatoes.

    He's passive aggressive, vindictive and mean. If he can't have you, he'll make you feel guilty for it.

    “…you'll always be perfect, even though I've heard that you only act nice to me because you pity me.” Forget the Titanic music. Cue some Jimmie Eat World or Death Cab for Cutie, or Pedro the Lion, or some other hipster emo song that myspace kids play while they cut themselves.

    “I apologize now for any time in the past or future that you look around the room and find me looking at you, [seriously, it was creepy] because I don't think I'll be able to always avoid getting spellbound by your radiance when I happen to catch a glimpse of your beauty.” Even in football, you only throw a hail-Mary pass at the end of the game. And you only get one shot. Every sentence of this letter is a hail-Mary.

    My advice, Miss Midlothian, is that you file for a restraining order. It’s really creepy. What he calls love, most Judges would call stalking.

    Or, if you really want to do the nice thing, tell a friend of his to suggest (coming from him, not from you) that Claude needs therapy. I’m not saying that to be funny, I’m completely serious. This dude has a serious detachment disorder, has a hard time separating illusion from reality, and will soon realize that there are women out there who had troubled childhoods and are attracted to effed up guys like him. And he’ll have a field day. Ick.

    Anyway, my two cents.
    -Bones

     
  • At 6:26 PM, Blogger Cece said…

    I love the new look of your blog! (Please tell me it hasn't always looked this way & I just now noticed. *lol*)

     
  • At 7:10 PM, Blogger Lindsey said…

    Oh my gosh you guys are all so cool and the best of friends. I especially want to thank Jenny and Bones for your comments. You guys both just put a smile on my face and helped me put things into perspective. Thank you.

    Cece--What you hadn't noticed before?? Just kidding, I just changed it last night. :-)

     
  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Frema said…

    I think Aimee and Bones both hit the nail on the head. He wanted to make you feel bad before he built you up himself. He's no better than the jerks he describes in his letter.

    Also, how self-absorbed was he to assume that the only reason you didn't like him was your own hang-ups with men? God forbid something be actually wrong with HIM.

    Teen angst is the best!

     

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