The Good Kind of Dorky


Sunday, July 15, 2007

Getting Dressed for the Rest of your Life

This summer is turning out to be busier than I expected. It has been busy off and on and work, I've been busy making appointments to taste cakes and meet with photographers for the wedding and I've been just all around busy on the weekends with birthday parties and parental visits. Needless to say, I am still just as pasty white as I was in the dead of winter. It's actually pretty disturbing. I tried to lay out in the sun today, but I was melting into a big pile of sweat, or perspiration, if you prefer. "Women don't sweat, they perspire," as my dad would say.

Mom and Dad came into town on Wednesday evening and I took Friday off of work so Mom and I could go shopping. For a wedding gown!!! Our dress shopping extravaganza lasted two days straight with very little sleeping in between. Maybe that is an overstatement, but it sure felt like all we did was go to shop after shop. In total we visited six shops--it would have been seven, but one was closed. I was left at the end of said extravaganza with three possibilities, but not sure if any of them are the one. I like them all in different ways.

Dress number one is not a real possibility as I completely broke the cardinal rule of wedding dress shopping--don't try on a dress you can't afford because you might fall in love with it (I did this even after a pep talk from my #1 bridesmaid, Sarah). The fact of the matter is, I'm not in love, per se, but I am in lust. The dress is almost $2,000--just over double my budget. The dress fits my body really well and it is really figure flattering. It has pearl beading on it that looks beautiful, but the thing is, I want it to sparkle just a little bit. So if I bought this dress, not only would I be broke, but I would also have to pay someone to sew on some clear or sparkly beading. Not to mention alterations. All of this would add up to pretty much triple my original budget. I should forget about this dress and just move on, right?

Dress number two is really pretty, but it has straps with beading on it that look just a little heavy for my frame. If I choose this dress, I would have to pay to get rid of the sleeves and have it turned into a strapless dress. That would cost money, but it still wouldn't cost as much as dress number one. After I returned home yesterday I was looking through my wedding binder (as every bride knows is completely essential to planning the big day) and I found a page of a magazine I ripped out with dress number two starred! I didn't even know. Maybe it's a sign.

Dress number three is totally cute, pretty and has an age appropriate look to it (as do the other ones). It is very "me," but I'm not sure that it is my favorite. If you are married, tell me, did you just know your dress was the one when you first tried it on, or did you take time and consider a few options? I keep waiting to try on the one dress that makes me totally giddy and gives me the feeling of "oh this is the one. I can't imagine walking down the aisle in anything other than this dress." sniff sniff But maybe it won't happen that way and I shouldn't let my high expectations get in the way of finding the perfect dress for me. Maybe it will be more of a slow sizzle. Maybe all of this is a metaphor for relationship with Edgar is not a series of highs and lows, but rather a slow sizzle and a growing love. Perhaps finding the dress of my dreams will be the same way.

With each dress I try on I try to imagine myself at the end of the aisle and seeing Edgar at the other end, his eyes lighting up. I know I could wear sweatpants and a t-shirt down the aisle and he would still think that I look beautiful, but helloooo that is so not happening. It's my wedding day. God willing, I'll only have one. I want to do it right, but I also want to be sensible about the cost. I know some people find the dress on the first try, but I've always been one to think it over. The best things in life involve some sort of production, right?? ;-)

For your viewing pleasure, here is a dress I tried on just to see how a halter style would look on me. This dress is not one of the ones I'm considering, but I thought I'd give you guys something to look at.


  • At 8:24 PM, Blogger Chiada said…

    I think you would totally rock a strapless or spaghetti strap option. The halter look works best on very bust gals, such as myself, in the D range.

    As for my dress, well, my budget was about half of your budget, and I ended up buying the very first one I tried on. Personally, I'm not a foo-foo kind of girl with lace and train and decorations all over the place. I like things that are more sleek/simple. I tried on about a dozen dresses or more at two different shops, and ended up going back to the first shop to retry on the first dress and that's the one I bought. There was one other option that I liked, except it was an ivory/beige color which wasn't quite trendy at the time and it cost more than I wanted to spend. I wanted a white dress and something more affordable. My dress consisted of about 3 layers of floaty material, the underneath being a more solid white satin and the very top layer being a sheer with a slight sheen to it. The dress was cut in an A-line style with a short train. There were decorative buttons along the zipper at the back. And the only decoration was a wide row of pearls (about 2" wide) that made up the straps and curved down across the neck and back. I'll try to get a picture up so you can see. I pretty much love the dress and I still love it. From time to time I pull it out of the closet and look at it. The thing that really made the dress, too, was the veil. I splurged on the veil which was about 8 feet long and a simple white netting with little pearls sewn onto it all over the place. It just clipped underneath a chignon/bun type hair style. No over the face veils for me. It had 2 layers to it: a long layer and a short fingertip layer. After the ceremony you could detach the long layer via velcro and just have the short layer. It was pretty cool. Plus the long layer became a neat shawl when the weather started to cool (we got married in a park).

    Sorry for the book. You look lovely in the pic. I know you'll find 'the dress' and you'll love it and never have regrets.

  • At 10:39 PM, Blogger janet said…

    I say keep looking. You have plenty of time, and if you really don't find anything, you can go back to any of those three. I almost gave up looks and bought a "pretty good dress" but I am SOOOO GLAD I kept going because I do think I found "the one"

  • At 3:03 AM, Anonymous alyndabear said…

    Having never done the wedding dress shop before (but excited for the day I will!) I'd say hold off... and trust my gut. :P

    You'll look beautiful in any of the options, I just know it!

  • At 7:51 AM, Blogger Erika said…

    My dress was halter, also with that asymmetrical waistline. SO FLATTERING. I know you said that one isn't one of the 3. Isn't the lighting in David's beautiful?!

    I saw my dress when I walked into the first store (it was in the window) and then after I tried it on I knew (in a very unemotional, non-this-is-what-i've-been-waiting-for-my-whole-life way) that it was the one I wanted. To humor my mother, who eloped, and because I knew I'd never get to do it again, we spent a few more weeks visiting a few more stores. So I got lucky early and "knew" but I don't think it's a requirement or a huge part of the process.

  • At 7:53 AM, Blogger Erika said…

    Wait, that's not David's...looks like Tiffany's??

  • At 8:25 AM, Blogger Lindsey said…

    Yep, it's Tiffany's!!

  • At 8:52 AM, Blogger Sarah said…

    I think take your time and keep looking. I knew I had the right dress, but at the same time I think that I could have been happy with a number of other dresses. There was never a heavenly sound, spotlight moment. I found the one I ended up getting early on but kept looking. The more you try on the more confident you become in what you think is the right one. I also bought the one that made my mom cry...and me cry...and the sales lady cry...but we're a family of who loves to cry so I don't think this counts for much.

  • At 11:27 AM, Blogger The "Mind" said…

    Don't just settle on a dress just because. Keep looking, find something closer to what makes your heart go pitter-patter.

    Take it from the girl who knows because she bought a dress on super-clearance at a store that was closing...a dress she later decided was just "eh". It worked and all, but it wasn't THE dress. But admittedly it was the 80's and I had very few requirements for the had to be affordable and not satin. And it was both of those. LOL!

  • At 12:23 PM, Blogger Aimee said…

    I was engaged before and bought my gown, so I actually have advice! Yeah!

    Okay, it is totally true that you will find "the one." I had heard that and I was like, looking for that feeling. I tried on a frillion dresses and I felt like maybe I'd found the one...(I wanted to so badly for it to be the one!)

    A week later I tried on another dress that I almost cried when I put it on. And my future MIL had said, "that one is PERFECT on you" and it had daisies (my nickname) and yeah. I wish I had done a better job picking the potential groom...but that's another story. LOL

    To top it off, I found it off the rack at a department store bridal area for about $600. WOOT!

    So, my advice - you have plenty of time. Keep looking. :)

  • At 12:44 PM, Anonymous audrey said…

    I was pretty certain about my dress when I first tried it on, but, wanting to make sure I wasn't missing anything else, I spent the next 2 weeks going to every other bridal store in the area and trying on every single dress that I thought I might like. I took pictures, compared pictures side by side, and only then was I 100% positive (I was maybe 95% positive before) that this was My Dress. I found that trying on other dresses after I'd found my dress was way easier than it was before because now I had a concrete idea to compare each dress to. With every dress I asked myself "It's good, but it is as good as the dress I love?" And the answer was "No" every single time.

    So I did a combination go-with-my-gut/explore-all-options sort of thing when I chose my dress.

    Good luck finding Your Perfect Dress! It is out there, I just know it.

  • At 3:11 PM, Blogger Carrie said…

    Hmm. I've been engaged longer and haven't even thought about it yet. I'm so not wearing a dress. I'm thinking down the lines of swimsuit on the beach like Tommy and Pamela. Hey! It is better than the court house, right?

  • At 5:49 PM, Blogger L Sass said…

    I think you should keep looking, too. You might find something you love even more.

    Or, you might try to see if a seamstress can custom make something similar to dress #1! that way, you wouldn't be paying extra for the beading you really want!!

  • At 5:49 PM, Blogger L Sass said…

    PS, you are gorgeous, girl!

  • At 7:43 PM, Blogger Cece said…

    First, I think Edgar would adore you in which ever dress you choose. Know why? Because the guys aren't THAT interested in the dress! lol

    And I think the halter style looks nice on you!

  • At 11:21 PM, Blogger Angela said…

    When I first saw my dress, I was dress shopping with my sister-in-law and my mother-in-law, and NOT for dresses for me. My sister-in-law was getting married two months ahead of us, so I was going along on the shopping trip but vowed not to try any on because I didn't want to take anything away from her special time.

    This particular dress was the first one I saw right at the entrance, and I loved it. They convinced me to try it on, and I did and it was perfect. It was so not how I expected to find a wedding dress -- the first one I saw when I wasn't really even looking!

    I eventually looked for real another day with my mom and matron of honor, but nothing compared to that first dress and it was the one I ended up with.

    Anyway, I think you should keep looking a little bit longer. You shouldn't feel like you are settling on anything, you know?

  • At 9:59 AM, Blogger Mrs. Higrens said…

    I did the try on a bunch of dresses without thinking I had a clear idea of what I wanted (but did know what I DID NOT want) and found the "one" after trying on a ton of other dresses. (In that way it was sort of like dating.) I walked out of the dressing room at Tiffanys, looked at myself in the 3-way mirror and I think I may have gotten a little misty, even with binder clips holding it in place.

    But then I thought about it for a while, and tried on some others just in case, since there wasn't a rush to order. But I did have a lot of fun trying on wildly inappropriate dresses just to make the choice easier. It was like smelling coffee beans between perfumes (y'all do know what I mean, right?).

    There was one other dress which looked pretty good on me but didn't fit my mental image of what I wanted for the wedding. If our wedding had been different, it might have been the "one" instead. And I played around with the idea of adapting my mother's dress (which scarily looked pretty good on me for a dress from the 70's) before making the final decision.

    That's my experience. My vote is that you take Sarah and go back through the racks a second time and see what jumps out at you (and try on things you think you would never look good in, just for kicks, but you might get a surprise) now that you have a better idea of what you want.

  • At 8:44 AM, Blogger Julie said…

    I am so late to this party.
    Comment #17.
    On your blog... That has never happened before.

    Im not really a fan of the halter in general, but that's my opinion.
    You know that you will find the right dress. So just keep looking.

    And keep showing me pictures!

  • At 1:59 PM, Blogger Aimee said…

    And you look amazing in white girl! hehe.


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