The Good Kind of Dorky

 

Saturday, August 11, 2007

An Apology

No I'm not apologizing for my heartless post about the homeless, although my one uppity commenter would probably prefer that I did. I was actually really happy to see my piddly little blog sparking some really good discussion even though my faithful readers, I hope, would know I was just messing around.

I am worried, however, that you might find my past actions completely unforgivable. I recently heard that Starbucks will be implementing a nationwide price increase.

While the article cites rising energy and fuel costs as the reason behind the 5 cent (per drink) price increase, I am here to come clean with the real reason why you will be paying more for your non-fat grande latte with a sugar free shot of hazelnut.

Back in October 2005, when this blog began (please don't go read those posts. Seriously, it was bad) I wrote a post about my Starbucks specific klepto tendencies.

Because I am against the high price of a Starbucks drink, I make up for it by helping myself to a few extra packets of Splenda. It's possible that I've been known to carry 10-20 Splenda packets in my purse at one time or fill up a little dish at home so that, when needed, my cereal could have an extra hint of sweetness. Now I don't take 10-20 in one trip. It adds up over time and my little nest egg o' Splenda grows. This little habit is not only Starbucks specific (I'm lying. I've been known to do this at Panera too.), but it is Splenda specific. Equal and Sweet n' Low just don't have the same appeal, you know?

The reason I take just a few more packets than I actually need is my little way of stickin' it to the man. Well, it appears the man stuck it right back to me. Damn man.

Now, because of me, the nation is suffering. In the course of two posts I've come out as a liar, thief and hater of the homeless. Don't judge me. Just please accept my apology and try not to think of me when you are paying 5 cents more at your local Starbucks.

I wonder how many Splendas I will have to "borrow" to make up for this?? I can't let the man win!!!

To my one disgruntled commenter: Don't go all Starbucks and McDonald's are ruining the world on me. I know.

14 Comments:

  • At 6:26 PM, Blogger Queen of Light and Joy said…

    With over 12 years experiance of working with people who are homeless and or below the poverty line I know all too well what THAT kind of life brings.
    Call me uppity but I was just calling it like I saw it, I do that, I point out the truth and let it fall were it will. Apparently it hit a cord with you. Good thing I didn't say anything about your pearls. Cuz they are REEEEAAAALLLY nice. lol
    I think it's interesting that you think of homeless people "as those people" and think it's even more interesting that you're afraid of them. They can smell your fear you know, that's why they come close to your car. lol
    Also, I noticed the subtle joking you imployed in your post but didn't find it funny. Now a post on someone who's deaf and how you talked really loud and moved your hands around trying to make "sign language" THAT would have been funny. Or maybe how you kicked a mentally handcapped person.

     
  • At 10:06 PM, Anonymous alyndabear said…

    You know, I really don't see the need for all of the personal rudeness. And I also don't understand why people feel the need to hang around commenting on blogs that they obviously aren't interested in. Move along, folks.

    Can't believe Starbucks are raising prices - as if paying the OLD amount wasn't enough. I'm cheap, so I only go there every so often. (Which is obvious since I go completely hyper after consuming one little macchiato. Am a coffee amateur.)

     
  • At 10:57 PM, Anonymous Motherload said…

    Who let in the queen who shares with us all this light and joy? Sheesh.

     
  • At 10:40 AM, Blogger L Sass said…

    I chronically steal Splenda from Starbucks, too. I also from the overpriced delis near work, but not from the little coffee / sandwich cart in the park next to my office because it's a one-man business and I like him.

    I just looked and I'd estimate that I have 25 packets of Splenda in my desk drawer, none of them paid for. But, I figure, how does Starbucks know that I'm not going to use eight Splendas in my tall latte?

    If you are ever incarcerated for Splenda theft, I'll be there with you. I think we'd both look fabu in orange.

     
  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger Carrie said…

    Whoa, whoa, what is going on. Queen and Lindsey! You two are my friends and I will not have you guys doing this. Queen, you don't know Lindsey. You shouldn't take one post and run with it. So let's play nice.

    Okay back to your post. I don't do Starbucks so you haven't caused me any grief. (you little theif you) And if the packets were a problem they would take them away. Kinda like how McDonald's holds the ketchup hostage.

     
  • At 2:36 PM, Blogger Cece said…

    So YOU'RE the dity whore who has caused my Grade ice coffee to go up to $2.30!!! LMAO j/k I do the same thing, I'll grab 2-3 extra packets & dump them in my desk. ;-)

     
  • At 3:11 PM, Blogger notanlines said…

    Hope this doesn't effect the international markets ...

     
  • At 4:07 PM, Blogger Mrs. Ca said…

    Yesterady I put Splenda in my coffee for the first time in about a year. I'm now remembering that it's a taste you have to get used to.

    I'm a napkin hoarder at Starbucks and the like. Mostly because I'm always spilling something, and so I know that I'll need them eventually.

     
  • At 5:02 PM, Blogger Chiada said…

    Oh yeah, I'm a napkin hoarder, too. I put them in my glovebox for those emergencies when you either a) spill something, or b) my husband needs to blow his nose.

     
  • At 5:22 PM, Blogger Julie said…

    When I cleaned my desk out on Friday, I found about a thousand plastic forks, knives and spoons that I had taken over the past year from the Au Bon Pain that I frequented for lunch.

    Love you Linds!

     
  • At 8:55 PM, Blogger The "Mind" said…

    Whobucks? Whatbucks? Wherebucks? Yeah, you aren't hurting me any either, the nearest Starbucks is like 60 miles away.

    I get my coffee from a gas station. Yes. Seriously. Holiday Station Stores.

     
  • At 10:55 PM, Blogger Angela said…

    I'm such a caffeine addict that I've probably made up for your Splenda thefts and then some, so no worries.

     
  • At 3:48 PM, Blogger Trina said…

    Don't feel bad, the man deserves it. :) I grew up in Glens Falls, NY, about an hour north of Albany. And I went to school in Fredericksburg at the University of Mary Washington. My friend Kate Miller lives in Richmond, but other than that, my friends from school were all Northern Virginians. Know anyone from those parts?

     
  • At 10:07 PM, Blogger Nap Queen said…

    Why didn't I think of that??? I do the napkin thing because I, too, spill stuff in my car.

    I LOVE me some Starbucks, but I feel bad for their employees. I try to be extra nice to them. My sister used to work there and they start at like $6/hour here in Austin, which is probably the most expensive place to live in Texas. I think it's funny when people think that the profits from the expensive drinks are getting passed on to their store employees because they SOOOO aren't...

     

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