The Good Kind of Dorky

 

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

More Wedding Talk of Course

Are you as tired of looking at my ass as I am? Hey, at least you can close the window. I have to walk around with this thing all day long.

Gosh. Time flies when you're, well, just busy. Work has been a little bit crazy the past few days and have I mentioned recently that I'm planning a wedding? Last Saturday I met with the "flower chair" at my church so she could show me the altar flower containers. Perhaps the least notable wedding activity to date. I made up for the it though when I headed over to my appointment with my seamstress. She did the custom beading on my dress and I got to see it completed for the first time. Can I just say, AMAZING! The gown is just.so.me. I get so excited at the thought of seeing my dress again. We're in that exciting, early relationship stage and I'm still getting butterflies. In fact, I get to see my beautiful gown tomorrow morning. She did the first alterations so when I try it on tomorrow, it's actually going to fit. I hope. Maybe I shouldn't have had pasta and chocolate malt balls tonight. Plus, it's that lovely time of the month. Hmmm, yeah, might be a little snug.

In other exciting wedding news, my veil is ready to be picked up, as are my bridesmaids' dresses. I can't wait to see them!

This wedding is really going to happen!

Speaking of the wedding really happening, I am having some mixed feelings about it. Okay, no jumping to conclusions here people. I have no mixed feelings about Edgar. I am not having any doubts. What I mean is, I am having a wide range of emotions as The Big Day gets closer. Thinking about the actual day, seeing my dress, thinking about being Edgar's wife, ordering shoes--all of the important stuff--makes me want to jump up and down and let out a girly squeal. Being a wife, losing the single woman identity that I've carried for 26 years, the thought of changing my name, transitioning into a full-blown adult--all scary stuff. And even though I've lived away from my parents for over three years, I still feel like I'm their little girl to some extent and marriage will somehow change that. I am aware this probably sounds so lame, but I am also sad that on June 8, my wedding day will have already passed. The day I have been looking forward to since I was five years old will be over. I know there will many more happy times and things to look forward to (baaaabies!), but I still get a little sad that the anticipation will be over. I'll be married. I will have a husband. I will be a wife.

So tell me o wise married ones, how were you feeling in the months and weeks leading up to your big day? Was it pure elation or did you have some mixed emotions too?

Monday, February 18, 2008

all together now..."wtf have I done?"

I woke up this morning and remembered that I only had until Tuesday night to come up with something to submit for Julie's contest. Julie is my girl so of course I MUST enter her contest of awesomeness (it doesn't hurt to suck up, right Julie?)

Throughout the day I kept trying to come up with something funny to take a picture of, but being Monday and all, my brain was still on weekend time. When I got home from work I got Bugs "leashed up" and went for a run (I made good time, by the way). I've been trying to lift weights more regularly and tone up a bit. Last night I cleaned and vacuumed our second floor. Half of it is Edgar's office, the other half we just use for whatever. I decided that I'd bring my pilates mat up there to help motivate me to do crunches, stretch, etc. After my run I was all pumped up so I decided to get in some crunches before dinner. Of course, everywhere I go the dogs must follow. Is that what it's like to be a mom? I began doing crunches and was almost through my second set when...WTF....

"OMG EDGAR! GET THE CAMERA! QUICK! I NEED YOU TO TAKE A PICTURE FOR A BLOG CONTEST"

He was all like WTF?!

It just goes to show you that a true WTF moment must happen organically.



(Also, WTF is up with the camel-toe? And the ass view? Must have been on wide lens)

Friday, February 15, 2008

Happy Virtual Engagement, Jen

Happy Virtual Engagement, Jen. Sarah and I put our minds together to bring you this: Our gift to you. A timeless classic. A variation on a theme, if you will. Enjoy it. Cherish it. Love it like you love Joel (or Brad Pitt)--until the end of time.

Dear Joel:

This morning I cried
Not because I was sad
Not because something was wrong
But because we’re getting married
For once I feel a sense of wanting to stay home barefoot and pregnant with our lovechild
I find myself wanting to give oral in over abundance to someone special
Someone that allows me to talk about any and everything
Someone that admires my cats
Someone whose laugh sends tingles through my body
It seems as if that year (and that other year, and the other one too) of waiting for you to finally propose to me never existed
We’ve stepped back in without missing a beat…
I find myself touching and caressing myself every hour on the hour (sometimes even twice)
But in my mind I’m visioning someone other than you
At this moment of intimate thought my hands are no longer my hands they are Brad Pitt’s
Exploring the cavernous depths of my woman hood
Indulging in my warm and my moist treasure that I am sure you would enjoy, like a warm, moist Betty Crocker cake fresh out of the oven
As I continue to explore and reach a climax from the indescribable and long awaited sensation from Brad Pitt’s touch
I shed a single tear
Yes, one single tear
For it is at this moment that I realize that I miss you immensely and how much I long for your touch…
(but first I must finish up with Brad Pitt)

Joel,
I open myself up to you
I am ready to be naked and freaky with you
I give you
My Heart
My Mind
My Soul
but mostly My Body
And all of my issues (especially those concerning Brad Pitt)
While thinking my inner most thoughts
I (literally) open myself up to the touch of your hands
I am passionate about the touch of your lips
Right this moment I am longing for the touch of your body co-existing with mine
I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives wrapped in the thought of you loving me
Loving me in ways I thought were only meant for fairy tale romances or low budget porn movies
And again I cried
Not because I am sad
Not because of something being wrong
But because I know it’s really over for me and Brad Pitt

2/15/08
11:51am
Of course, every bride-to-be knows the importance of trying on many gowns and doing her best to really invision the Big Day.



We love you, Jen! Happy Engagement!
~Lindsey and Sarah

Thursday, February 14, 2008

When I think about you I touch myself

In honor of Valentine's Day I thought I'd bring you a love poem I found in my former co-workers "My Documents" section of her computer while I was looking for a file. Along with her resume and other personal documents was this little gem.

This morning I cried

Not because I was sad

Not because something was wrong

For once I feel a sense of wanting to be loved

I find myself wanting to give love in over abundance to someone special

Someone that allows me to talk about any and everything

Someone that admires my southern swagger

Someone whose laugh sends tingles through my body

It seems as if that year of waiting never existed

We’ve stepped back in without missing a beat…

I find myself touching and caressing myself

But in my mind I’m visioning you

At this moment of intimate thought my hands are no longer my hands they are yours

Exploring the depths of my woman hood

Indulging in my warm and my moist treasure that I am sure you would enjoy

As I continue to explore and reach a climax from the indescribable and long awaited sensation from your touch

I shed a single tear

For it is at this moment that I realize that I miss you immensely and how much I long for your touch…

I open myself up to you

My heart

My mind

My Body

My Soul

My inner most thoughts

I open myself up to the touch of your hands

The touch of your lips

The touch of your body co-existing with mine

The thought of you loving me in ways I thought were only meant for fairy tale romances…

And I again I cried

Not because I am sad

Not because of something being wrong

But because of you and the happiness you have bestowed upon my heart.

11/15/06

11:32 am (so glad she documented the exact time, aren't you?)


Remember kiddies, delete your files before you leave your company....and have a Happy Valentine's Day!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Vote for B

If you live in Virginia VOTE OR DIE, just as P. Diddy said. I stressed out over who to vote for and even had a dream about it last night, but I woke up early and got to my voting location before work, which means I get to wear my "I Voted" sticker all day. So hott right now.

Speaking of elections, a very crucial election is coming up...

Audrey and Erin are hosting the Bloggie Doggies Awards and Bugs would like you to consider nominating him for one of the lovely awards. Here are some links to refresh your memory:

I mean, seriously people, he is cute!!

Weiner shadow and all!

He will be a very sad reindeer if the internet doesn't show him any love. Very sad.

Seriously people, he is already working on his acceptance speech...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Answers

While some of you got one right, no one was able to guess both of the truths. Let's talk about the lies.

I am naturally blonde. This one might be a little ambiguous as Laurel and I discussed. My hair was blonde as a kid, but has darker as I've aged. Technically, I haven't seen my entire head of hair in its virgin state for about ten years. I've seen my roots though and I know about what my hair color is--a mousy shade somewhere between blonde and brown. So technically maybe this is a part-truth, but for the sake of this game I'm just going to go ahead and call it a lie.

I secretly want to be in a polygamous relationship. Maybe if this relationship involved Jim from The Office or Dr. House from House M.D. I'd reconsider, but truth (or in this case lie) be told, I do not want to be in a polygamous relationship. Edgar on the other hand, now that is a different story.

I am allergic to peanut butter. Sweet Jesus if I ever develop this allergy someone just put me out of my misery. A life with peanut allergies is no life for me.

I am registered Republican. Lies, all lies. Let's not even joke around about this. :-)
Actually, in the state of Virginia one cannot register with a party, but if I could, the party name would start with a D. Sometime I should tell you the story about when I turned 18 and registered to vote in NY State. I "accidentally" checked Independence Party because I wanted to register as an Independent. Well, actually that is the entire story, so no need to tell it again at a later date.

I am left-handed. A lot of you thought this was true about me, what with my creative nature and superior intellect. No, I'm right handed and just.that.good.

My parents love my sister more than me. Um, hello??? Obviously they love ME more.

So by process of elimination, the truths.

I sucked my thumb until I was 12 years old. No really, I did. And I found out that I am not the only one. I was forced to stop this bad habit when it was time for me to get braces. True story.

I have kissed a girl. Is it that hard to believe that this is a truth? Didn't anyone else get drunk and totally make out with their best friend in college? Well I think you guys are the weird ones. College is all about experimentation, my friends.

And there you have it. More than you probably ever wanted to know.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Truths and Lies

I can't believe how long it has been since I have blogged and I am seriously behind on my blog reading. I have been pretty focused on the fact that I am getting married in exactly four months. It's funny, when I got engaged I thought I would talk about the wedding all the time, but I didn't. I didn't talk about the wedding all that much for a good 7-8 months. That's because I had so much time left. Now, the main focus of each day is wedding, wedding, wedding. (Marsha Marsha Marsha!) I think about it so much and I have so many anxieties that I am this close to having to breathe into a paper bag to catch my breath. On an exciting note though, we have decided on a honeymoon locale. We have chosen a resort too, but still have to book it. Drum roll please...

We are going to the Dominican Republic. For those of you who don't know, this is where Edgar's family is from and it is his birthplace. So it will be really meaningful to travel to "the homeland." I am so excited! As each day passes and we get closer and closer to the wedding, I get more and more excited to marry Edgar and be his wife. I just feel like everything is so right. While the wedding "event" stresses me out, the thought of being joined in holy matrimony with Edgar brings me a sense of calm. It's a good feeling to say the least.

Anyway, Isabel and probably some others have been playing a little game called "6 Lies and 2 Truths." Okay, let's play!

1. I sucked my thumb until I was 12 years old.
2. I am naturally blonde.
3. I have kissed a girl.
4. I secretly want to be in a polygamous relationship.
5. I am allergic to peanut butter.
6. I am registered Republican.
7. I am left-handed.
8. My parents love my sister more than me.

ok go!