The Good Kind of Dorky

 

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

More Wedding Talk of Course

Are you as tired of looking at my ass as I am? Hey, at least you can close the window. I have to walk around with this thing all day long.

Gosh. Time flies when you're, well, just busy. Work has been a little bit crazy the past few days and have I mentioned recently that I'm planning a wedding? Last Saturday I met with the "flower chair" at my church so she could show me the altar flower containers. Perhaps the least notable wedding activity to date. I made up for the it though when I headed over to my appointment with my seamstress. She did the custom beading on my dress and I got to see it completed for the first time. Can I just say, AMAZING! The gown is just.so.me. I get so excited at the thought of seeing my dress again. We're in that exciting, early relationship stage and I'm still getting butterflies. In fact, I get to see my beautiful gown tomorrow morning. She did the first alterations so when I try it on tomorrow, it's actually going to fit. I hope. Maybe I shouldn't have had pasta and chocolate malt balls tonight. Plus, it's that lovely time of the month. Hmmm, yeah, might be a little snug.

In other exciting wedding news, my veil is ready to be picked up, as are my bridesmaids' dresses. I can't wait to see them!

This wedding is really going to happen!

Speaking of the wedding really happening, I am having some mixed feelings about it. Okay, no jumping to conclusions here people. I have no mixed feelings about Edgar. I am not having any doubts. What I mean is, I am having a wide range of emotions as The Big Day gets closer. Thinking about the actual day, seeing my dress, thinking about being Edgar's wife, ordering shoes--all of the important stuff--makes me want to jump up and down and let out a girly squeal. Being a wife, losing the single woman identity that I've carried for 26 years, the thought of changing my name, transitioning into a full-blown adult--all scary stuff. And even though I've lived away from my parents for over three years, I still feel like I'm their little girl to some extent and marriage will somehow change that. I am aware this probably sounds so lame, but I am also sad that on June 8, my wedding day will have already passed. The day I have been looking forward to since I was five years old will be over. I know there will many more happy times and things to look forward to (baaaabies!), but I still get a little sad that the anticipation will be over. I'll be married. I will have a husband. I will be a wife.

So tell me o wise married ones, how were you feeling in the months and weeks leading up to your big day? Was it pure elation or did you have some mixed emotions too?

17 Comments:

  • At 11:09 PM, Blogger janet said…

    Well, you already live together, right? I don't want to burst your bubble, but everyday life probably won't be all that different. In fact, the name change might be the most traumatic. I htink i am still recovering from that part.

     
  • At 11:15 PM, Blogger Val said…

    You're already a grown up! And like Janet said, once you get past the whole staring at your new wedding band, it's really not *that* different.

     
  • At 9:59 AM, Blogger Mrs. Higrens said…

    All I remember is the utter exhaustion of the weeks leading up to the wedding. I was excited, but at the same time, I just wanted it all to be over already so we could be on our honeymoon lazing on the beach and enjoying unlimited adult beverages.

    It didn't really hit me until the day of the wedding, at the back of the church. I just started to sob and couldn't stop until I reached the end of the (seriously long) aisle where DH was standing. Once I reached him, I felt better. It sounds goopy but he really is my rock and I'd be lost without him.

    Assvice #1: waterproof mascara is your friend! Also, make sure your dad & Edgar are well stocked with handkerchiefs or tissues, just in case you end up like me. My dad didn't have a handkerchief (he usually carries one, but in the tux, he didn't), so he and my mom had to do some quick slight of hand as we walked past her so that I could blow my nose. (TMI?)

    Assvice #2: How to say this clearly? I changed my mind on what name I wanted to take after changing my name on some accounts, but before I went to the Social Security Dept. to officially change my name. They are still in that name because it's a pain to change it again. So, to avoid having all different names out there, my assvice is to not change anything until you are 100% sure what name you want to use.

     
  • At 11:55 AM, Blogger L Sass said…

    I would like to know how you feel... but probably will not anytime soon. :)

    I guess the one positive thing about being a Ringless Wonder is that you get to have the whole My Wedding fantasy out before you, uncompromised.

     
  • At 1:02 PM, Blogger Chiada said…

    Well, seeing as how I got engaged to Hub-E after knowing him for only 5 weeks? I was extremely nervous as the big day approached. Nervous about getting married. The day of the wedding after I was dressed and ready to go, my dad came to pick me up. I looked at him and said in a shaky voice, "Daaaaaaaad! I think I have wet feet!" He chuckled and just said that was natural, that everybody got that feeling before they got married.

    Aside from that, though, I wasn't nervous over anything. The planning all went very smoothly. Hub-E and I did alot of it ourselves. Even the night before and day of the wedding I felt very calm and unrushed/unstressed.

     
  • At 1:10 PM, Blogger Sarah said…

    I think how you're feeling is totally normal. I went through a lot of what you're describing before my wedding and I just think that's part of this transition. It seems like you're doing the right thing by being aware of your feelings (how counselor is that?) and thinking about all of this beforehand instead of having a mental break on the wedding day or just after the wedding. Also, even though we are grown-ups now, it is different but, even now that I'm married, there are still times when I feel like I'm faking it. Fake it till you make it, that is all.

     
  • At 2:27 PM, Anonymous audrey said…

    What you're feeling is totally normal, don't worry! When I told my mom that I thought it was weird that I was getting married because that seemed like such a "grown up" thing and I didn't feel anything like a grown up, she said "I still don't feel like a grown up either!" And that made me feel a lot better.

    While I don't feel like my relationship with my parents has changed all that much since I got married, I did at first feel a bit like Tim's relationship with his parents should have changed. I was surprised at how jealous of them I suddenly was. His family is all very close, which is great, but sometimes I felt (and still feel) like they're stepping into my territory. Like when he had his first day of teaching the entire day all by himself, his mom and sisters had called him to see how it went hours before I got to talk to him. And I felt like "Hey, step off! I'm his wife, I should be the first person he talks to about big deal things!" That's maybe a little selfish, but I kinda feel like I should be the first to know when it comes to big events in my husband's life, you know?

     
  • At 2:52 PM, Anonymous Erika said…

    I never really thought about "after"...I'm really good at that, I was the same in pregnancy. I was graduating from college, getting a new job, living on my own all at the same time as the lead-up, so it felt like my "grown up" life was always going to be this exciting with something to look forward to. I truly thought life would be more romantic and even working would be better with a wedding band on my finger. HA!

    The hardest part about "after" is that, you're right, it's over. Everyone is still planning their weddings, or getting engaged, but you already had your chance to do it how you wanted it and to be the center of attention. Life felt very ... pointless, aimless. But you find new things to keep you going, even if it's just the weekend. My mom said after 5 years of marriage, she was really like "IS THIS ALL THERE IS TO LIFE?!?!" and right around then she found out she was pregnant. NOT THAT KIDS ARE ALL THERE IS TO LIFE but just...everyone feels that way. You'll get through it.

     
  • At 3:58 PM, Blogger Julie said…

    Okay

    #1. Bring back that ass.
    #2. You're not really losing your identity. Duh.
    #3. When can we see the dress? Or just me. PLEASE PLEASE!

    I'll be in DC again, March 8-10th.
    Whatcha up to?

     
  • At 4:11 PM, Anonymous alyndabear said…

    Your arse is much more fun to look at than mine. :P

    I don't know what I can add to this discussion... but I'll read along anyway!

     
  • At 10:21 PM, Blogger Carrie said…

    I think I have with Adam so long that I no longer think of him that way. I already call him my husband. You'll be fine.

    Oh and I realized the other day that the weekend I will be in Vegas will be my 1 year engagement anniversary. Guess I better be planing something soon.

     
  • At 1:01 PM, Blogger Elise said…

    Definitely had the mixed emotions, especially of the "no longer my parents little girl, everything is changing" variety.

     
  • At 2:56 PM, Anonymous Erin said…

    I think the name change was the most traumatic thing...mostly because it was a pain in the ass.

    I was very calm in the weeks before my wedding, which is weird because I'm a very anxious person. I didn't feel like I was losing my identity, I felt more like I was adding a wonderful new aspect to it.

     
  • At 7:21 PM, Blogger Marriage-101 said…

    Since you already live together, that's the biggest change out of the way. It took some time getting used to the name change and even now, nearly two years later, I still catch myself gazing at my wedding rings.

    The hardest part? The Post Wedding Blues. Did I show you the post I wrote on it? I probably did. But if not, it's here:
    http://marriage-101.blogspot.com/2006/06/post-wedding-blues.html

     
  • At 12:33 AM, Blogger *~*Cece*~* said…

    Honey, the best part of the wedding, aside from all the semi-free crap you'll take home, is the feeling of being happy & complete. Just knowing that you've married your BEST FRIEND is the best feeling in the world.

    I have to say, that b/c you guys have lived together already nothing "drastic" will change. There are some who shun pre-marital cohabitation, but know what? What makes that any different than test driving a car you plan on buying! lol Seriously, you guys wil will nake it, I see a bright future for you both.

    And you brought tears to my eyes talking about your veil. My grandma made my veil and other than my husband, I always say the only thing I kept from my wedding WAS my veil. And now my gma is gone. That just makes it THAT much more special. When my sister gets married I already told her I want her to wear the veil my gma made.

    oh fuck now I'm crying. No wonder I dont come here! lol KIDDIN! LOVE YOU!

     
  • At 6:42 PM, Blogger Andi said…

    I had panic attacks a couple months before my wedding. Now that I am married, I love it! It's so relaxing to just be married. If you are confident about your relationship - you'll be fine.

     
  • At 4:55 PM, Blogger Isabel said…

    I hate to say it..but I was scared shitless. And dude, I had done it before...so I shouldn't have been so scared.

     

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