The Good Kind of Dorky

 

Saturday, June 07, 2008

06.07.08

I am getting married.......TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just having some breakfast and drinking some coffee (I need lots of it because I didn't sleep well, but not too much or I'll have to pee. I always have to pee). Yes, I just made my wedding day post about peeing. Awesome.

Well I have to get a few things done before I head to the salon, but I just wanted to remind you all that...

TODAY IS MY WEDDING DAY AND I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, June 02, 2008

Are You Excited?

As you probably know by now, I am getting married in five days. FIVE DAYS I tell you! So many people have asked me the question, "So, are you getting excited?" It's a simple question really. The answer, however, is not so simple. Sure, I am excited. Excitement is definitely one of the emotions I'm feeling. I'm excited to see my family and friends whom I have not seen in years. I'm excited to be married to Edgar. I'm excited to see the flowers and the reception room and the cake. It's all going to be a surprise because even though I've chosen what I want, I don't know what it will look like all together. I actually won't know until I am walking down the staircase into the room filled with all of the wedding guests. I am excited to see my beautiful maid of honor and bridesmaids in their pretty dresses, standing by my side. I'm excited for the rehearsal dinner and I'm excited for the honeymoon. There are many things to be excited about. And I am excited.

But what no one asks is "Are you overwhelmed? Do you cry every time you think about walking down the aisle with your dad? Are you sad and nostalgic because you feel like you are waving goodbye to the last moments of your childhood even though your childhood, for all intents and purposes, has been gone for some time now? Does the thought of having all of your friends and family in one room at the same time make you feel so overjoyed because ohmigosh that is so much love in one place? Does the thought of saying your vows to the man you are committing to spend the rest of your life with no. matter. what. make you feel content and thrilled and scared and safe and vulnerable all at one time? Are you anxious? Are you stressed out? Are you worried that you will be sad after the wedding because the day you have been dreaming about since you were five will, in five short days, be just a memory?"

No one ever asks those questions. And maybe they don't because they haven't been married before and have no idea. I know that until I was a bride myself, I had no clue. Maybe the people who have been through it before know how emotional this time is and so it's easier to just ask, "Are you excited?" because they wholeheartedly know exactly what feelings I am going through because they've been there. Somehow "are you excited?" is like "how are you?" We say "How are you?" as a way to greet people. I think "are you excited?" is like the bridal equivalent. No one expects anything but a trite answer.

Do not misread me. I am certainly not offended when someone asks me if I am excited. It's a simple, legitimate question. It's just hard for me to give anything but a complex answer. Most times when I have been asked the question I have paused and just said "I am excited...I am also stressed and overwhelmed...I'm many emotions all at once." Which is true. There is no single word that can describe what I am right now. So when you ask me if I'm excited and I don't jump up and down and say Yes YES YES, it's not because I'm not excited, it's just that I have a lot on my mind.