The Good Kind of Dorky

 

Monday, June 02, 2008

Are You Excited?

As you probably know by now, I am getting married in five days. FIVE DAYS I tell you! So many people have asked me the question, "So, are you getting excited?" It's a simple question really. The answer, however, is not so simple. Sure, I am excited. Excitement is definitely one of the emotions I'm feeling. I'm excited to see my family and friends whom I have not seen in years. I'm excited to be married to Edgar. I'm excited to see the flowers and the reception room and the cake. It's all going to be a surprise because even though I've chosen what I want, I don't know what it will look like all together. I actually won't know until I am walking down the staircase into the room filled with all of the wedding guests. I am excited to see my beautiful maid of honor and bridesmaids in their pretty dresses, standing by my side. I'm excited for the rehearsal dinner and I'm excited for the honeymoon. There are many things to be excited about. And I am excited.

But what no one asks is "Are you overwhelmed? Do you cry every time you think about walking down the aisle with your dad? Are you sad and nostalgic because you feel like you are waving goodbye to the last moments of your childhood even though your childhood, for all intents and purposes, has been gone for some time now? Does the thought of having all of your friends and family in one room at the same time make you feel so overjoyed because ohmigosh that is so much love in one place? Does the thought of saying your vows to the man you are committing to spend the rest of your life with no. matter. what. make you feel content and thrilled and scared and safe and vulnerable all at one time? Are you anxious? Are you stressed out? Are you worried that you will be sad after the wedding because the day you have been dreaming about since you were five will, in five short days, be just a memory?"

No one ever asks those questions. And maybe they don't because they haven't been married before and have no idea. I know that until I was a bride myself, I had no clue. Maybe the people who have been through it before know how emotional this time is and so it's easier to just ask, "Are you excited?" because they wholeheartedly know exactly what feelings I am going through because they've been there. Somehow "are you excited?" is like "how are you?" We say "How are you?" as a way to greet people. I think "are you excited?" is like the bridal equivalent. No one expects anything but a trite answer.

Do not misread me. I am certainly not offended when someone asks me if I am excited. It's a simple, legitimate question. It's just hard for me to give anything but a complex answer. Most times when I have been asked the question I have paused and just said "I am excited...I am also stressed and overwhelmed...I'm many emotions all at once." Which is true. There is no single word that can describe what I am right now. So when you ask me if I'm excited and I don't jump up and down and say Yes YES YES, it's not because I'm not excited, it's just that I have a lot on my mind.

18 Comments:

  • At 3:47 PM, Anonymous audrey said…

    Oh, Lindsey, I know exactly how you feel! I cried every time I thought about my dad giving me away (and still sometimes cry thinking back on it). I cried when we were doing pre-ceremony pictures and my dad saw me in my dress for the first time. And then, amazingly, I did not cry when he was walking me down the aisle. It was strange, but good. Like maybe there were just too many emotions at that point in time for me to pick one and cry.

    And all the other emotions you mentioned? Yeah, definitely went through ALL of those!

    My assvice to you: Embrace it wholeheartedly. Let yourself feel all these emotions and just really soak up every last part of the entire experience. It may be quite the emotional ride, but, holy cow is it ever incredible on so many different levels.

     
  • At 3:48 PM, Blogger Making my way in PA said…

    This is the perfect descriptor of weddings. It is just so much. You are happy, sad, overwhelmed, worried, excited, jittery, everything. All in one person sized bundle.

    For me it was all the little "last time I will"
    - call you fiance
    - sign my maiden name
    - check "miss" on a form

    Good lord, I could go on and on!

    So freaking EXCITING!

     
  • At 4:01 PM, Blogger Liz said…

    "are you excited" is the equivalent to "how are you". I know exactly what you're going through but I still just ask "are you excited" because, well, unless I'm super close with the person, I just assume they're not really interested in confiding their pre-wedding anxieties to me. so I just ask an easy question. Though it doesn't seem it's so easy for you!

     
  • At 6:42 PM, Blogger Sarah said…

    OMG, this is a personal attack on me, isn't it!?!? I am failing at being the #1 Bridesmaid!!!

    I've been meaning to ask you:
    "Are you overwhelmed? Do you cry every time you think about walking down the aisle with your dad? Are you sad and nostalgic because you feel like you are waving goodbye to the last moments of your childhood even though your childhood, for all intents and purposes, has been gone for some time now? Does the thought of having all of your friends and family in one room at the same time make you feel so overjoyed because ohmigosh that is so much love in one place? Does the thought of saying your vows to the man you are committing to spend the rest of your life with no. matter. what. make you feel content and thrilled and scared and safe and vulnerable all at one time? Are you anxious? Are you stressed out? Are you worried that you will be sad after the wedding because the day you have been dreaming about since you were five will, in five short days, be just a memory?"

    :) I know exactly how you feel, my friend. Please know that when I ask "are you excited?" it comes with a lot of love and unsaid acknowledgment of everything you're going through.

    I can't wait for your big day!!!

     
  • At 8:28 PM, Anonymous Erin said…

    I know exactly how you feel! Of course you are excited, but excitement is certainly not the all-encompassing emotion that leads up to your wedding. Getting married is a big deal, and it means changing a lot of things. It's going to be mucho emotional. The best thing you can do is allow yourself to feel those emotions, because they are all important. And if you need to share them...well, that's what we bloggers are for!

    I'm so excited for you. Being married is seriously awesome!

     
  • At 11:35 PM, Blogger L Sass said…

    I totally see why you are having all of those emotions in these final weeks! I'm sure it's a mixed bag, but a GOOD mix.

    This weekend is going to be amazing and full of love for you and Edgar. It is going to be wonderful.

     
  • At 12:02 PM, Blogger Isabel said…

    Dude, I'm excited FOR YOU!

    And I know what you mean about all the love and all the friends and family. I remember being just overwhelmed by ALL THE LOVE when I was pregnant with Babboo. It's such a great feeling to know that you are surrounded by people that love and support you (and Edgar).

    Congrats. And dude...I expect loads of pictures.

     
  • At 12:04 PM, Blogger Operation Pink Herring said…

    Excellent post, Ms. Bride! I saw on Oprah last year that the new question we're supposed to ask brides is "how are you doing?" or "how are things going", not "are you excited"... because with that last question, there is only room for "Yes, of course!", and you're not expected to talk about any of the very real, normal, healthy feelings you described.

     
  • At 2:33 PM, Blogger *~*Cece*~* said…

    When its all said & done you might find yourself with empty time on your hands! lol I knwo I did & I know a few brides who did as well.

    Dang I can't believe its this weekend! Best wishes & have fun! And don't forget to eat!

     
  • At 2:41 PM, Blogger Sue said…

    I'm excited and my wedding is one year, one week and five days away. Wow. You have no idea how weird that is for me to be typing "my wedding".

    Anyhow, I'm also so very excited for you! I can't wait to see pictures of it all. And I agree, just take it all in, memorize every moment.

     
  • At 7:35 PM, Anonymous cady said…

    i know exactly how you feel. i cried thinking about my dad giving me away, i cried when he saw me for the first time while i was having my portraits taken, i cried when i walked down the aisle, i cried during the ceremony. hahaha. i was a big emotional mess. it's just so interesting how, as you said, everyone asks if you're excited. no one asks about any other of the millions of emotions you're feeling! i'm so excited for you. i know it's going to be a whirlwind, but just make sure to take in every moment. it goes by so fast. i can't wait to hear about your wedding and see the pics!

     
  • At 10:41 PM, Blogger janet said…

    this is an excellent post. You are so right. In addition to all these emotions about the milestone and the meaning, you are orchestrating the biggest party of your life. It's stressful, no matter how chill you are. If it hasn't already, the adrenaline will kick in soon. I was sleeping like 4-5 hours a night leading up to and even days after the wedding because I was totally running on adrenaline. It's a crazy time. But enjoy it. I hope it's amazing. I know it will be!

     
  • At 2:28 AM, Anonymous alyndabear said…

    Eep, I think I"m one of those people who was the 'are you excited' kind. I blame it on my un-wed (and probably NEVER to wed at this stage) status.

    Oy! That sounded miserable.

    Anyway, all those emotions make the day even more special - and I know it's going to be amazing. Big hugs!

     
  • At 1:05 PM, Blogger Carrie said…

    You are going to make me cry!

    When I finally take the plunge, I know I will be a sobbing baby. I couldn't even handle the proposal and drove have way through a Mexican crying in a taxi cab.

    You will be fine. Emotions are really wonderful thing.

    But I am excited for you.

     
  • At 1:35 PM, Anonymous Frema said…

    In the weeks leading to my wedding, I remember being so nervous that I wanted to throw up. Seriously. I never knew how to answer that question, either, because the response is so complicated. But on the day of my wedding, all those fears went away, and it was a wonderful, wonderful day.

    Early congratulations, Lindsey!And ditto on what everyone else said: I am so excited for YOU. :)

     
  • At 6:42 AM, Anonymous alyndabear said…

    Big hugs for the big day!!! Love you girly. xo

     
  • At 9:46 PM, Blogger Angela said…

    Can't wait for the big ol' wedding recap!

     
  • At 9:04 PM, OpenID corazondeswiss said…

    So now I am 33 days away from my wedding and this post captures my feelings exactly. But, I usually answer honestly- "mostly stressed and tired."
    It's not that I'm not excited. But I have about a zillion things to do between now and then and little time to do them in.

     

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